- David Letterman (Self - Host)
- Paul Shaffer (Self -Musical Director)
- Alan Kalter (Self - Announcer (voice))
Episode: Juliana Marguiles, George Miller
Air Date: 2001-07-12
Dave theorizes on the show's four Emmy nominations (announced earlier that day)- either no one's watching or the voters don't care anymore; for the second night in a row, Alan is beaten up by a guy twice his size; a comedy bit from Show #499 about Steve Martin's preparations for appearing as a guest is repeated.